Hi guys. Finally! Today is the day! This day, February 8, 2019 marks the first day of my first post on my very own blog. I’m so happy to welcome you all to my blog. Welcome, welcome! I’m so thrilled that this is finally up and really nervously giddy at the thought that you guys are reading this at this very moment. So, welcome to VanillaSunshine.com 🙂 This is going to be my personal blog where I intend to write about things that are real, beautiful, exciting, inspiring as well as those that are mundane, basic yet essential in our daily lives in the Bicol Region. But from time to time, I will try to travel so I can also share about the other parts of the Philippines and hopefully the world 🙂
You guys have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this. This little project has long been in its (let’s just say) incubation stage.
Too long, probably. Like roughly 4 years.
I know. Why the delay?
When I think about it, the delay had a lot to do with my self-imposed pressure for things to be perfect. That, combined with my not-so-good time management skills and voila 4 years have passed and I’m still pondering on what could be the perfect name; ( Somebody beat me to the original name that I wanted. Sunshineandvanilla dot com has been taken up a little over 4 years ago); the perfect theme, the perfect layout, the best categories and topics and just about everything that I can control about my blog.
See, I don’t like making mistakes and I have a lot of fears. But as much as such have protected me from doing really stupid regrettable things, they have also prevented me from exploring, discovering and taking leaps of faith. Mind you, being wise enough not to do inappropriate, regrettable and irreversible things is good and beneficial but deep down I think my problem was different. It wasn’t like that. It was more like I didn’t want to take risks and make mistakes because I didn’t want to be wrong. I think that may have a little or maybe a lot to do with pride- which is still (to my disappointment haha) so wrong. I had second thoughts of putting myself out there and risk being criticized for not being and doing the best or for not trying hard enough. I still have those fears.
In 2017, I set the goal to finally release my website/blog in 2018. Either in April (4-8-18) or December (12-8-18). Don’t ask me why I obsessed over the dates so much. I’m not Chinese and certainly don’t believe in luck or superstitions. But I just like the number and the ability to be able to have a say in that aspect. And yet, I wasn’t able to do it. I got too busy with life and all its obligations and complications. Realizing that it was already December 9, I’ve wanted to kick myself and I actually mentally beat myself over this over and over again. I kept thinking about the opportunities I’ve missed, the hearts I would have touched, the things I would have learned and the experiences I could have had.
But hey. I’m still alive and still able to make it a reality regardless of not being able to meet my previously set (somewhat ridiculous) standards. That’s probably why I’m talking about this in my first post.
Today, I’m choosing to embrace the endless possibilities and opportunities out there . I’m still scared but I think that’s the point. I’m taking a leap of faith. Deep down, I know that I’ve been given a tiny seed of ability to communicate/write. And I haven’t been using it to the fullest. But now I’ll try my hardest to turn things around. And I hope that you’d join me in this journey as well. I still do not have everything about this blog (and my life) figured out but I’m moving forward anyway. A few seemingly minute steps forward is better than being stoic and stuck in the same sad spot especially when there is no longer any growth.
I don’t exactly know what stage in your life you’re at, right now. You may be at a crossroad, stuck or limping back and forth because fears or self-imposed pressure or whatnots. I pray that you are also able to move forward, even just the tiniest bit. Someone very wise once said that it is way better to have the tiniest bit of faith- even that of a mustard seed than none at all.
So here’s to us, as we embark on this new journey. Here’s to us, as we forego our fears and unnecessary-ridiculously-high-bordeline-crazy standards. Here’s to us, doing our best but no longer scared to death of making small mistakes. Here’s to believing that we are wonderfully and fearfully made for a purpose higher than we can actually imagine. Here’s to us learning that we can never be fully in control of everything and that’s okay, in fact that should be a relief. Here’s to us slowly, yet surely and humbly changing our perspective. Here’s to a better you. Here’s to a better me. Here’s to possibilities and breakthroughs. Here’s to life and actually living.
Here’s to spreading a dose of sweet and warm sunshine wherever we go. 🙂